Now, before I continue, regulars come in two categories: First, those that are extremely generous, kind, and easy, as well as pleasurable, to serve. Secondly, those that are assholes. These people show up with the red carpet rolled out at their feet. They always have to have a certain table, a certain waiter, and everything needs to be done in an incredibly precise way. The "bartenders" always know them; the "managers" always know them; and the "chefs" always know, just exactly, how they like their Salmon grilled. Ironically, what these DBAG regulars DON'T know (themselves), is that everyone in the restaurant despises them. Their false sense of entitlement has disillusioned them into assuming an authority that does not exist. These people always expect anything and everything in quantities that far exceed what the "average" customer is allowed. More bread, more liquor, more attention.
Frankly, these people just suck.
Now, having said that, let me continue with this wonderful story involving these 2 asshole regulars.
They're eating dinner with friends in the corner booth. They're making their server's life a living hell. Substituting this; adding that; changing this; changing that. Basically, just being downright rude and obnoxious.
Finally, towards the end of the dining experience, the server has had enough. Apparently, the asshole regulars have too. Completely disenchanted with their waiter, they request a manager to complain that the service is horrible. And, of course, the manager (a corporate douchebag marionette) severely reprimands the server which starts as an argument and ends in the server's termination, there on the spot.
Completely nonplussed by the whole situation the server, already having been fired, says: "Fuck This!"
He walks up to the party of assholes.
The 4 of them look back at the server as he glaringly presides over the table. Now, they're all smugly smiling because their complaints rendered a free meal and, of course, the lambasting of said server. They couldn't be happier.
Until....
The server, after having paused a few seconds to allow his presence to be absorbed, calmly looks all of the DBAGS in the eyes and says:
"Folks, thank you for tonight...
(The table is still smugly smiling)
"And I have one last thing to say: GO FUCK YOURSELVES!"
Hahahaha! The collective look on these bastards' faces was of abject horror and disgust. After telling the table to fuck themselves, the server grabbed his jacket off the coat rack and smoothly walked out the front door.
Wow, what a Grand Exit....
He walks up to the party of assholes.
The 4 of them look back at the server as he glaringly presides over the table. Now, they're all smugly smiling because their complaints rendered a free meal and, of course, the lambasting of said server. They couldn't be happier.
Until....
The server, after having paused a few seconds to allow his presence to be absorbed, calmly looks all of the DBAGS in the eyes and says:
"Folks, thank you for tonight...
(The table is still smugly smiling)
"And I have one last thing to say: GO FUCK YOURSELVES!"
Hahahaha! The collective look on these bastards' faces was of abject horror and disgust. After telling the table to fuck themselves, the server grabbed his jacket off the coat rack and smoothly walked out the front door.
Wow, what a Grand Exit....
